Interior Life Pillows

"What a lot of people don't realize is that I actually enjoy an incredibly rich interior life."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Interior design trends for parents....

"She's been so creative lately."

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Dog Walking Services

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Second hand furniture.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Home depot."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Use your imagination.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."