Interior Decor Lover Gifts

'I love Christmas decorations; the house always seems twice as large when they're put away.'

'Oh Steve! You had the dining area remodeled!'

A piece of modern art is labelled so that it is hung the right way up.

"Usually I'd be nervous, but the rest of his apartment is so nice."

"I love what you've done with the place."

"Shoes off sofa... Shoes off sofa... Shoes off sofa..."

Your motto is to buy a new rug every day? Yeah, "carpet diem"!

Recollections of a Retired Butler

"I'm going for a swim. Wanna come?"

Neil liked to co-ordinate his outfits with his soft furnishings.

"I'm sorry, but you knew I had a temper when we first met."

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Use your imagination.

Painting the Ceiling

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"You're welcome."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."