Intellectual Powerhouse Pillows

Malcolm's got a mind like a steel trap.

Hands off my IP!

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Now that's a win."

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

Time Out For Teddy

Corporate Whore.

Doctor to man: 'You're a workaholic - you tested positive for elbow grease.'

Caricature of Noam Chomsky

'He's under office-arrest.'

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."

Loud Chorister

'From the very beginning we felt that defeating the Big Bad Wolf would be meaningless unless we could parlay it into a book deal.'

"You've been so productive lately, I've decided to lay the entire staff off so you can do their work as well."

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

"This manuscript is unbelievably mature for a first novel but, sadly, we don't publish the unbelievable."

"Son, this is the key to success - it opens the room where we keep the money."

'Why don't you go and borrow Jeff's tools? While you're at it, borrow Jeff.'

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

"I tend to get more done when I leave self-loathing off the to-do list."

"Well, for this amount we could do you a nice word-of-mouth campaign!"

"Does it say I'm a Wittgenstein scholar?"

"Worst TED talk ever"

'It has my horoscope, heart rate and cholesterol level...but I'm sorry, I don't have the time.'

"She scares the hell out of me. She's brainy, creative and sexy."

Chrissie Hynde

Buy- out specialist

'Welcome to the interview for our Post-Doc position, I hope you've brought your publication list...'

"I know it sounds like a sell out, but I made millions selling cat books and calendars."

"I've finished my New Year's resolutions, and now I'm going to get a running start on yours."

"I don't know why these people are complaining, we give them stimulating,challenging work...and we let them do it for 80 hours a week."

'He's just messing with your mind.'

"No-one likes a smart-arse, Jenkins..."

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art then resumit it.'