Intellectual Jokes Pillows

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

Archimedes statue with a lever

"Hic. Gosh and begorrah!" "Wha?"

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

Schrödinger and his cat

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'What's the fist thing you're going to think of when your brain is fully formed?'

James Joyce.

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

SOUTH AFRICAN MUTANTS LAUGHING FIT

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

Auguste Comte

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

'Heidegger-Hi!'

''Time is an illusion'? - How long did it take you to come up with that?'