Intellectual Buff T-Shirts

'Here he comes now, the brains behind the company.'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

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"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Meet the author"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Jean-Paul Sartre

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

German Expressionist Breakfast

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The tests confirms you have short-term memory loss."

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Moses' Tablet

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."