Intellectual Banter Buddy Mugs

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"I think it stopped breathing."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

Peach flirting with a banana.

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

"You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!"

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'Ted, isn't it about time you sorted out your deer-gut?'

'I was in the right place at the right time once, and then I realized it wasn't ME.'

"Meanwhile in Dogtown... Put your tongue back in your mouth. And pull up your pants. That’s not what your mom said last night."

"I'll have a man overboard!"

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"These brisk fall afternoons remind me of Chekhov, which reminds me of Putin, then Trump, the alt-right, facism, nuclear weapons ... let's go home."

"Care for an oxymoron?"

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Just as I suspected, guys - looks like we'be got ourselves an undercover wine drinker.'

You look lovely tonight. It's a good think the coat-check girl let me check my thought balloons. !!

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"Is that neat whisky?"

"Hey Eric. Do you think they're silicone implants?"

"'Ere, mate - you look like a right muppett..!"

The Art of Bantering!

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

'You say the pains in my left leg are caused by old age. But doctor my right leg is just as old and it doesn't hurt at all!'