Insurance Raconteur T-Shirts

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I can remember when a dollar was worth $47.32."

"The boss says he can remember the day I first started...but nothing after that."

'No.... My cat doesn't like being given pills either...'

"I wrote a poem, even though I'm on vacation."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"Bartleson, are we cronies yet?"

"He assured me the merger is nothing to worry about."

"I'll need a three iron."

Isn't that a surveillance camera?

And that, gentlemen, is my opinion for what it's worth.

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"You bet I had it mounted, it gave me the best fight of my life."

"The employer-employee bond is sometimes difficult to sever."

Social butterfly

How Platypuses Are Born

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"You misinterpreted the news. I've simply had a terrific autumn."

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

Brenda always had Safe sex

'Dear Abby: I continually find myself asking for advice from complete strangers. Please help.'

"Aside from Domino’s, China Palace and Lupe’s Fiesta Garden, do you have any professional references?"

"Oh, I'm not arguing. I'm just stating my opinion and ignoring everything you say."

"My grant is somewhat restrictive. I have to work only with even numbers."

'Suspence, intrigue, deceit, vice...the annual report.'

'Well yes there was life before television but it didn't amount to much. . .'

"You've just been copying things from my sex diary into your sex diary."