Insurance Jokesters Mugs

Wonderland Hospital. To Patient Rooms. Nurse. Go wake up Rip Van Winkle -- His HMO finally authorized his treatment.

'Looks like your insurance does not cover pre-existing organs.'

"Have you considered insurance, rego, third party, tolls, resale..."

"I'm not sure if this is good or bad. . . he's allergic to H.M.O.'s!"

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

"I'd like to approve a second opinion but your HMO considers that experimental medicine."

My, grandma, what a big premium you have for a plan that doesn't cover getting eaten by a wolf.

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

"Trust me, darling. It was only a bumper car ride. I promise, it won't affect your no claims bonus."

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

COMPAGNIE D'ASSURANCE DE PARIS, 'I can't believe you sold an insurance policy to NOSTRADAMUS!'

'...in sickness and in health, with full coverage or without...'

So...who is your provider ?

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

'Your policy doesn't cover you against huffing and puffing.'

'I'm afraid that we can't insure you. Our records indicate that you only have one life left'

"I really do think I could be an anarchist, but my insurance won't cover that."

"Apparently, all the King's horses and all the King's men were out of Humpty's healthcare provider network."

'We may have to postpone medically probing you until we can confirm you have insurance to pay for it.'

'Which health plan are you on?'

'What do we do in a case like this? -- He's sick because he swallowed his insurance card.'

"Is this Bart from Country Farm? This is Dan the Unrideable. Yep, happened again. "

"Under our health care plan, you get low premiums, a low deductible and a free, yearly probe."

"I just KNEW something like this would happen when I switched health plans. The old plan let me pick my own doctors!"

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"Can I interest you in nine life policies?"

'Give it to me straight, doc...what are my chances of making it until the drug benefit kicks in?'

Slipping Insurance $5.

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'