Insurance Joker Prints

"The results of the X-ray show that you have very poor health insurance."

This fish is battered! Thank goodness I remembered the insurance!

"Well the good news is that according to your insurance there is nothing wrong with you."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'We decided the current system for reviewing corporation tax was too complex so we'll trial the 'think of a number and then double it' method.'

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

"Remember, Mr. Jones, whatever doesn't kill you makes your health insurance premiums go up."

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'Do you have your insurance information on you?'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'The frog is deceased, Mr. Graham. You don't need malpractice insurance.'

Sales - We could try a 'free offer' but it would cost us.

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'Hi! -- I'm selling theory insurance!'

"I can't create your bride until you make your co-pay."

"Does this mean my loan has not been approved?"

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your medical insurance doesn't cover 'Acts of God' like illness"

"I got whiplash when I recoiled from your quote."

'I mistakenly thought that 'mutual' meant the funds were equally mine to use.'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

So...who is your provider ?

Captain Eddie's New Boat: 'First of all, Eddie, most people don't usually lose theah boats...'

"I got connections. We'll pull a few strings, get you out of here in no time"

'You should probably just ignore that. Your insurance doesn't even begin to cover it.'

'You'll get a new lease on life if your HMO will pay the rent.'

"I'm no longer afraid of doctors. It�s the medical insurance men that frighten me!"