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Paying through the nose (a guy handing over his insurance money out of his nose).

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

The Buck Never Stops.

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"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Bureaucracy gone mad!

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Let me guess - you lost a fight against a young challenger who has now replaced you as the company's alpha male!'

Doctor surrounded by notes.

'Get an afterlife!'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

'Word has it that you have an ulcer, Tomkins. Nice going! You'll find an extra 20 bucks in your paycheck.'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Your health insurance doesn't cover what you've got...so I'm diagnosing you with something they do cover."

"I think she's having a Spontaneous Paperwork Induced Collapse."

'All these stupid forms! -- You self-employed guys make me sick!'

Bureau of Red Tape

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

"Ambitions... to finish on the winning side for a change."

The mazes were too easy, so now they have me running through bureaucracies and looking for grants. (Originally published on 2007-10-18).

"Someday my grant will come."

"In principle we're happy with the trust idea...as long as it's properly monitored and regulated!"

'When I die, please cremate me and send my ashes to the tax office. . .Write on the envelope, 'Now, you have everything.''

'You have a good chance of recovery, if you can make it through hospital admissions.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

"More government regulations, Mr. Maslin?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but this particular loophole is only for the use of Federal employees.'

"The doctor's nurse's nurse practitioner will see you now."

Skills and experience held back by bureaucracy and protocols.

"I'm applying for a grant to be able to apply for more grants."

Still Stuck in Phase I of Meaningful Use...