Installments T-Shirts

"He only made first four installments."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Convenience.

Sick Building Syndrome

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

Lazy plumber.

Dog thumping tail on floor, man below thumping ceiling with broom.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

I am billing, therefore I am.

"Hello. I'm here to install the new pastor."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

"I charge by the grain."

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

"It's times like this I wish I was ore than just an armchair plumber."

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Medical Billing & Coding

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Abraham Lincoln sends his first bill - Three score dollars and ten.

"Relax. They come in pieces."