Insecurity Empathizers Gifts

"Does this bird make me look fat?"

The Golfing Accident

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

Bear fumbling whilst fishing.

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

"Nothing is ever in my size either."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

"Ugh, tell me about it! They pressure you to be a good boy and I get unreal expectations of prettiness!"

Mouse to occupant about trap: 'How could you?'

'I realize working in the Complaints Department can be tough. But it must be a thrill to work with the public on a daily basis.'

'If it's sympathy you're after... forget it !'

I'm hungry...I'm homeless...I'm dead.

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

In search of the American dream...

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

The Chinese of Paris - 'Beer!... Never... only absinthe makes a man fit again!'

Christmas Burnout

"The client wants a real homey ad campaign. How about a mom eating apple pie watching baseball during a home invasion!"

"Star light star bright please let me wake up tomorrow and be a cat so I can sleep more and won't get my heart broken so much."

"This is worse than I thought - he seems to have claustrophobia."

An equestrian warning a child.

Extinction rebellion...

"One hundred billion workers and I'm the only one made redundant. Do you realise how unlucky that makes me feel?"

"Visible elephants give faster catharsis."

'The sounds of the ocean aren't relaxing to me. I keep worrying about a tsunami.'

"Save my phone!"

"I'm Irving Lasky, once you get to know me."

"Claustrophobia."

"Anyway, it was nice talking and talking while you stood there in agony waiting for the opportunity to say even one word."

'I sure wish the recovery would start, I need a new box.'

(Please help! Bad back)