Insect Diplomat Pillows

"Ignore that, Mrs. Schmidt, it's the oldest trick in their book!"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Look, he just wants to apologize for scaring the daylights out of you yesterday. ... Mr. Squirrel? ..."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

'There. See? Your buddy is OK. Now show us our guy before we make the swap.'

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'Our basic package is no frills, no chew toys, no extra Kibbles, and narry a pat on the head from management...'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"Here's another fine mess you've gotten us into."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Landing That Tough Account

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

'Oh, yes, you will get off!'

'You can't charm me out of this chair.'

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Wow, interesting, looks like she's not just being mean: research shows that chocolate is actually bad for us. . ."

Good duck, bad duck.

Bipartisan.

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

Advantages of Growing Older

'I, for one, am sick of this 'King of the Apes' business! I demand a Republic!'

"I hear the food's good. But try to get a table."

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

Cat pleads into mouse hole: 'Can't we talk about this?'

"Look, why don’t you just come down and talk to him? He wants to make up."

"There, are you happy?"