Ink-stained Wretch Pillows

"I'm not a slave by profession you know... I'm really a journalist on holidays."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

The Venerable Bede

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"Bullets seem like overkill. What if I shot him with staples?"

Angry Dog Tattoo

Holier Than Thou

Man on cycling machine being chased by a dog on a running machine.

Man at job interview has spider-web, skull and dagger cartoons on his face. He says: 'I really don't think a few tattoos matter, in this day and age.'

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'You really do need new glasses!'

"You want art, words, or a QR code?"

'I'm not a famous writer, but I do make enough money to travel the country and sleep in my car.'

Colonel Bagshot.

"I kept forgetting my library card, so I had the barcode tattooed on my arm!"

Tattoo Repo Men

A cancelled hunting trip

"He used to chase people on a bike a lot, but it got so bad I had to take away his bike."

"You've reached '1-800-WATER-4-U.' Please leave a message."

"How do I get this cross hatching out?"

In the rain a country gent tells his sporting friend from town that they will have a lovely day because the frost has gone

'Uh-huh...yep, got that. '27 lock street, around 8:30.''

Experience Required

'Birthmark? Nope...no pocket protector during the great permanent ink pen leak of '72.'

Recycle tattoo

Gannett Layoffs

'Can you tattoo a cat on my knee?'

I've got half a mind to get one. As my old man would say...that's probably all you'd need.

'That gunsmith wanted an arm and a leg to fix my gun.I said i could fix it myself.'

"Just to be sure, before I finish inking, is it a solid, long-term relationship?"

When one door closes. . . another opens!