Injection Jesters T-Shirts

"The first one's just a warning."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

'Congratulations, you're now man and wife. You may club the bride. '

"Med Brittle"

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

"Got outta jury duty!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

Nil By Ear

'That's how much time your HMO allots for bypass surgery.'

' I hope you're not trying to suggest that I don't pay you enough Foster ! '

The Five Major Rule Changes in Major League Baseball.

Todays Special: Vented Spleen.

The Apis Dance Studio

"You're not going to eat me are you? Have you never heard of mad worm disease?"

You only get your tonsils out once. Milk it.

Coast to coast walk.

Help Wanted Signs Explained.

"I gave permission for you to Skype my class, not skip it."

Bus Stop - 49 Bus Reputed Sightings.

"People often think management is glamorous, that we spend all our time engaging in high profile decision making."

'Do you have a plan B if you can't find work as a frivolous suit litigator?'

No, I'm not asking you to declare the witness hostile, you honor. Can you just declare him

"Thank goodness I convinced them to put this playground outside of the courthouse. Now it feels like recess."

'I told you we should have read the fine print when the accountant said we'd be getting 10,000 bucks a month in our retirement.'

'This is the part of the job I hate.'

"Hold on a second. I'm updating my profile status."