Inheriting Family Heirlooms Mugs

"Your great great grandpa Karl's ashes are in this trunk, Billy. The old man was as big as a goddamn house."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"And to my son Frank, I leave my greenhouse in the country."

"It was her mothers"

A caveman kid sees his ancestor in a museum exhibit

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"Can you tell me the story again about how you swiped right on Dad?"

'One day son, all this will be yours!'

'One day this will all be yours.'

"One day this will all be yours to sell off to the highest bidder."

'Someday, son...all this will be Mine.'

'I need to tell Edgar...our house sold for a million two.'

"Son when I'm gone, all this will be yours!"

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

"One fine day my son, all this will be yours."

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

"I don't want to be a king like Dad - I want to be a pirate like Grandpa!"

'As you know, your father liked the sport of Boxing...'

"It belonged to my great... great creepy Uncle Edgar."

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

"We could repair this one of a kind globe that has been in the family for many generations or just throw it away."

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"Someday son, this will all belong to a post-apocalyptic dystopian future."

"My kids may hate me, but my great-great-grandkids are going to love me."

"Someday son, this will be all oars."

" ...and this is the armor of my ancestor, 'Cederick the Unintimidating.'"

The Ladies of the Creation - Bloomerism. - No. XII. - The heiress.

"Growing old ain't for sissies, but at least I got to do all my lame-brained, half-witted stuff before the internet!"

Have you even thought of having children, Randy? Of course. I come from a long line of perfect specimens. Each successive generation is more charming, more virile, more irresistible than the last. HOJ. Logic dictates that I am not the end result, I am but a link in the evolutionary chain of Randies. I must reproduce eventually, for the sake of all mankind. How about you? I come from a long line of corporate overlords, each greedier than the last ...

"Alright everyone, let's get serious."

Leap Heir

"And this is the wedding ring worn by my grandmother."

"Son, once your grandma wore these shoes. I wore them after her, and now I will give them to you because I think they fit your dresses perfectly."