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'all of you, except a party named 'Fido', may now leave.'

"...and to my mistress, Veronica, I leave my boyfriend, Garth."

'I don't know about you, but I'm going to protest the old lady's will'

'My money's still working, only now it's working for my ungrateful children.'

"Although many thought your uncle to be wealthy..."

Cat and dog at a will reading.

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

Contest of wills.

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'Your uncle donated his brain to Harvard and, unfortunately, they used it to figure out a way to get the rest of his money.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

"The good news is that you inherit Mr. Brumble's entire estate, Miss Finster. The bad news is that he owes an outstanding balance to your plastic surgeon!"

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Solicitor tells cats: 'It's unorthodox, I know, but old Mrs Featherstone has left her entire estate to her immediate family.'

Family Money - "I've been working on your family tree!"

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

'One of these days this will all be yours and by then it should be making a profit.'

'One day, son, all this willy be yours...only by then it will have grown and grown...to hundreds of billions...it's called the cost of PFI.'

'It seems in the case of the late Little Miss Tuffet, where there's a will there's a whey.'

Tonight's Lecture: Contesting the Will. It's going to be about either inheritance law or who really wrote Shakespeare's plays.

"Unless you really don't like one of your children, it's best to leave your debt divided equally between them."

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

God changes His will.

"One day son, all this will probably belong to some little floozy you'll marry."

"As you all know your dear deceased Aunt Bessie was a very devoted cat lover...."

'And to my no good nephew Milo, who thought he was going to get all my cash - lots of luck!'

'...and someday this will all be yours, Son.'

'Your uncle had a very unusual will.'