Ingredient Scrutinizer Prints

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

Bar None

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

All Natural Nothing

Honest Vending

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

Nuclear Security Summit

'Diet considerations.'

The Inexperienced Cook

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Secret Family Recipes

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

'Firstly whip your eggs....and everything else.'

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...