Ingredient Scrutinizer Prints

'One four ounce serving supplies minimum daily requirement of butylated hydroxyanisole...'

Are we what we eat and what do we actually eat?

Bar None

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Honest Vending

All Natural Nothing

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

The Inexperienced Cook

Nuclear Security Summit

'Diet considerations.'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

CATCHY NAME

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"It's a cucumber mousse with a mushroom roam, but at least your bill will be substantial."

Secret Family Recipes

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."