Infernal Interior Decorator T-Shirts

"Hellfire or brimstone - which one's it gonna be? I can't hold these all day."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Use your imagination.

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Books / Coffee table books

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

Unknowingly, with one swish of his blood soaked mammoth tail he was inflicting pain and suffering on billions of unborn people. Home decorating had been invented.

An assortment of vegetables in the form of Tables

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of being a painter are the hardest.'

'It's my main decorating motif.'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

'All it needs is a ceiling fan.'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"The next time we redecorate, how about if I choose the art?"

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Den Furniture

King Madras

'Well Miss Hayward, your suggestion of trying Feng Shui didn't work.'

Mid-century Father

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

I love what you've done with your hare.

'For heaven's sake Janet - where have you disappeared to now?'