Industrial Skincare Guru Mugs

"This is supposed to be the clean room so we'll give it an additional five minutes."

The adoration of the gels.

"Has anyone seen the dog?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Round and round the cauldron we go, in the exfoliating toner I throw."

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

The Coiffing - to Illustrate poem 'The Ballad of a Barber'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'Ok. Now I'm sexy.'

Curling your hair for no reason

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

Woman applying makeup

New Twenty Blades

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Desert Dermatologist

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'You do Botox?'

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."