Independent Work Pillows

'Thank you for the job offer, sir, but I'd hate to give up being an independent contractor.'

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

Cellphone Islands

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

"He says he's not running away. . . he's just going off the grid."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

Signing the declaration of independence.

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

'I don't actually work for you. I'm a consultant.'

What's your most popular drink? Why do you want to know? Why base your order on what other people are buying? Don't be a follower. Be your own man. If you're unfamiliar with a drink, ask what's in it and decide for yourself whether that sounds good. Or better yet, live a little. Take a risk. Choose a drink you've never had at random and see where it takes you. You only have one life. Don't live it following in the footsteps of other people. That's kind of harsh. No, it's the name of the drink.

Having installed a hydraulically operated wall in their 25-year-old's bedroom...

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

Ethanol and foreign oil.

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

The Real American Dream

Self-employed.

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

"Honey who needs a man when you've got... Rhythm!"

"First buttons, then zippers, now we learn to tie our shoes. Is mom trying to tell us something?"

'I want to go out of town so that I can become a fully independent person, but near enough so that I can bring my laundry home.'

'I find the best way to get them to grow up is to buy them a 1-way ticket to Europe, and let them work their way back.'

"I work well independently. I usually correct all the problems I create."

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"