Income Provider Pillows

"I'll say this much for her - she's always been a good provider."

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

'Good news and bad... Medical science can't cure you, but we have some marvelous support groups.'

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

"They are what keeps me going. You wouldn't believe how expensive it is raising three kids."

"Yes, I know what's going on in the world. That's still no excuse for my Internet being down all day."

Name That Salary

'Can you make good money as a salesman for our company? Let's put it this way - look around you!'

"Do you realise 25% of your salary goes to the government?"

"Will he ever be able to produce revenue again?"

DIY Bed&Breakfast

"You promised an advance...but this is more of a tactical withdrawal."

'For you, I would go through hell and back, I would anticipate your wishes, I would keep you safe and warm, I would love you forever and a day... Of course, just as long as your income doesn't exceed mine!'

"If we could only harvest the energy of the protesters who oppose nuclear, we wouldn't need a new atomic plant."

"Of course we pay a living wage....as long as you only live four days a week!"

"Call yourself a breadwinner. You're a breadloser."

'The 22% tax I understand, but who gets the other 78%?'

"We need a new 'mission statement' to tell clients who we are! I was thinking of 'aspiring to excellence'."

Last Farrier for 100 Miles.

"No, I'm not on a diet! It's just that my husband is not a good provider!"

'I know it's a boring make-work job but I like it because it's a make-salary job.'

"My take-home pay is barely enough to take home."

When I was a teenager I used to stay out all night chasing girls. Now I have to work all night supporting one!

"It's a drone that locates high paying job openings. Desperation is the mother of invention."

"Working with the elderly causes all sorts of problems...but she can't retire until she's 69."

"Thanks again. You've got a great house and a fun care provider."

'Employee health plan? We've added chicken soup to our vending machine.'

Fresh deliveries.