In Memory Of A Spouse Pillows

He loved a sea very much

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

'Ol' Pete was an angler to the end.'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"You'll be able to talk to your husband. I have video conferencing."

"I'm afraid Larry sleeps with more than just the fishes."

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

Arnold Hazlet and beloved wife Tamira (unless she married that guy across the street)

Widow shows a portrait of herself

"Just one last crossing to make..."

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

Lady to tombstone: 'Sam, I invested all of your money in an IPO last week ... we're millionaires!'

Happy Anniversary!

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

"Papi, why do we celebrate Memorial Day?"

'Your better half isn't up here... It seems you were the better half.'

"No, he didn't suffer. That's my only regret."

I realize we all grieve in our own way, ma'am, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate the fireworks you put in your late husbands pockets.

"Thanks for coming, Olga - I want you to help me contact my husband."

"Harold is back. He couldn't stand my 'selling low' in our stock portfolio!"

"He refuses to let me get on with the grieving process."

You have done your duty. To honor you is ours.

"I can't believe he's really dead, mum. He looks just the same as he always did."

Hello again, Marlene...they're letting me commute."

'Late husband.'

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

'You've been smarting off a lot lately -- Have you been fooling around with that 'Tree of Knowledge'?'

"Call Jane."

"... I'm just saying; grieving widows don't normally dance on the coffin singing, 'I'm in the money'."

'I'm sorry, but your husband's life insurance policy only covered his eighth life.'