Impulse Shopping Survivors Gifts

"You don’t have to buy everything you see on Instagram."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

"I hate it when they put kittens in the impulse buying section."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Smart card.

"Twenty-five thousand, do I hear thirty thousand? Let me remind you all - this is the last Thin Mint cookie in the sleeve..."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"Forget it – we're not buying some expensive sex robot for it to end up unused in the garage with the massaging armchair and the rowing machine."

"The door-to-door sales rep was very persuasive, but in my defense he only sold me one."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

"I went by the pet store this morning, just for a peek."

"I wish you wouldn't buy things from people who come to the door."

I need a raise. This is no time to joke. I've been on a buying binge at the iPhone app store and I can't pay my credit card. These apps are worth it. They're life-changing, they're

Woman impulsively buying a book about how to stop impulse buying.

"I shop to forget what I bought last year."

'Maturity: the instant-degratification phase of life.'

"We've got an emergency out here, Doctor - a compulsive shopper with buyer's remorse!"

"You really shouldn't shop when you're hungry."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"It's a pitch spork. I bought it online."

"Never mind what's in the box. That'll be discussed at the end of the month."

Shopping Torture

Adrenaline is flowing down there with lots of last-minute, panicked Christmas shoppers! The DNA is frantically looking for heirlooms that'll be passed on in succeeding generations. It seems no price is too high for the helium atom - it's buying everything! Meanwhile, the neutron can't charge and hasn't been able to buy a single gift! Tempers are getting short! A big nerve angered other shoppers by blatantly cutting in the checkout line! And there's a quarrel over a parking spot with a whit

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

'Look at the adorable garden gnome I bought today!!'

Welcome to the real world. What just happened? Where am I? The Mall. The Mall. We've been shopping – in person. Not the kind of shopping where you order things on your phone and have them sent to your house. this is the jungle! And you didn't last five minutes! You were laid out by some geezer hustling to the grocery section to get a special deal on prune juice! E-commerce has made you soft! I've got a scratch on my iPhone.

"So, did you pick up anything at the farmers' market?"

"I'll have all that, and this."

Man is attacked by barcodes.

'Dried meat, survival set, folding spade... okay. Now I'm ready to go shopping with you.'