Improving Health Pillows

How can we improve our health?

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

"I didn't spark joy."

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

On the back of the t-shirt...

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'