Improvement Enthusiasts Gifts

"We could put more thought into this. The problem is it would still be us doing the thinking."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"Teach yourself what you don't know you don't know."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

What else is there to wish for?

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

'Does it bother anyone else that our entire business is based on one questionable product?'

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Self Help / Elf Help.

Man feeding his computer money.

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"I became a mentor because I needed more direction in life."

'Workmate' bench helping DIY man "Left a bit"

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"I used to be a medium, but now I'm a large."

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

'I'm afraid this new self you reinvented has already been patented.'

A push in the right direction: 50c.

'Maybe change is a good thing.'