Impractical Strategist T-Shirts

Prison coffee table books.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Any questions?"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Trojan Hurdler.

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

Corporate Ethics Department, how may I help you?

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

"The figures for the last quarter are in. We made significant gains in the fifteen-to-twenty-six-year-old age group, but we lost our immortal souls."

Targets

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

CX909708

Rock champion (Rock, paper, scissors).

Facebookie - Odds on boss catching you wasting time

"I need out-of-the-box thinking with off-the-shelf practicality."

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"I'm in advertising. . ."

Cat chess

"This'll look great on my transcript!"