Impractical Ponderer Pillows

Man fishing in a tin of fish

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"I cross the road to forget."

"Is this who I am?"

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Nihilistic customer service"

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

Non Thought For The Day.

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'...and that is my philosophy.'