Imposter Story Fan Pillows

"I'm maybe not the real Santa, but I'm the only Santa who would do it for the money your dad was willing to pay for the job!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

The creature from the trailer by the dried-up lagoon.

"The Eggsorcist"

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Magic Tricks

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"So, how's your other half?"

Happy New Ear!

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

'I don't understand. . . My escape trick has always worked!'

Paul Daniels.

Houdini's Dog

The Cheshire Cat drinking tea.

'So what else do you hyptnotise apart from rabbits?'

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

"Is there a rabbit in the house?"

Magician hitting someone while performing a trick.

A Sculptor chiselling out 'The Invisible Man' from a block of stone.

"I don't care if he's an endangered species, captain - I'm going to blast him."

Successful killers use gas powered chainsaws only.

Phill Jupitus

Ventriloquist's Doll also has a Doll.

Planet of the Dems

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

Fake it.

'He was one of the finest illusionists I was ever privileged to see.'

"Now it's high definition!"

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'That's what I call magical magic!'