Impatient Navigator Pillows

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

"Just look at him - he won't get there any faster!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

Hospital Departments

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Rowing machine on a river.

'Are we nearly there yet Dad?'

"Cardiac day patients?"

Medicare: More is Better!

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

'Okay, kids, we're finally here.'

"I am just going outside to find an NHS dentist and may be some time."

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Doctor sits near work boxes labelled; 'NHS' and 'Private'.

"I just hope that when your mother is as old as I am you'll be able to help figure out Medicare Part D."

"I don't see the doctor anymore because I'd have to hire some kid to set up the patient portal."

'I'm from the temp agency, who are you?'

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

'He can't refer you to me... I referred you to him.'

"You need to see a specialer. They're like specialists, but less so."

'You must be one of Billy Covey's teachers.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

'Oh no, not you again,'

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

Vaccine Passports

GPs to be required to offer appointments in advance.

'You need the wisdom of the ages to understand Medicare Part D.'

'So that's how they know which way north is.'

"Don't you have any regular doctors?"

'I never know which side to start on.'