Imaginative House Hunter Pillows

"We're interested in a five bath, one bedroom that's on the water."

'The roof needs icing.'

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'It's a long and narrow home: A perfect fit for you Mr Eel...'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Emigrating to France.

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'The owners are a bunch of clowns.'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'This is close enough.'

"And the bathroom has a water view...if you fill the tub."

'I think you'll find it open and spacious!'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

'...and you may notice a few of the previous owner's personal touches.'

"This isn't a fixer upper. It's a down-and-outer."

Estate Agent - 'They're all mine.'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

It doesn't matter if our house is made out of bricks, we've got a sub-prime mortgage!

House for Sale.

"They're willing to throw in their kidneys."

"Great location, new roof, central air, underground storage tanks full of toxic waste, double garage, ceramic tile?"

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

'And this is the walk-in clos..' - 'We'll take it!!'

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

'What do you mean, you forgot about the coalmining search?'

"I told you he was a motivated seller.

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'