Idiom Enjoyer Gifts

"Hey, what am I, chopped liver? Just kidding, I know I'm chopped liver but how about listening to some of my ideas once in a while?"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

The devil you know and his plus one

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"Ahhh....I think that was a flying fuck."

"Nuts to you, too."

Sauce for the Goose

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

Another day in the Splenda mines

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

The Elephant in the Womb

Uh, oh, the cows come home!

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"They're home...the party's over!"

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"Congratulations! You've won the bid."

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''