Identity Theft Survivor Gifts

Someone stole my identity. What do I do with all my monogrammed shirts?

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me because the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

'You mean someone has been trying to steal your identity?'

"The person who stole my identity is in this city, so look for someone who looks and acts like me."

'All we can do is hope for identity theft.'

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

'I use the clones to help prevent identity theft.'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Yours is the worst case of identity theft I've investigated."

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

'I'm here due to an identity theft.'

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

"All right, which one stole your identity?"

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

You know what? I think we are victims of identity theft!

'Do you ever get the feeling that these so called 'stick people' have stolen our identity?'

An early case of identity theft

'I've found that poverty helps protect my identity.'

'I see you need help. When was your identity stolen, sir?'

'It was identity theft by my body double!'

"Ever since his identity was stolen, he's been easier to live with."

Now in Stock! 25 Million Names and Addresses on a 2 Disk Set.

'We'll try. In the meantime, I can offer you a great deal on a new identity to replace yours.'

"We'll do everything we can. In the meantime, would you like a new identity to replace your stolen one."

'It was really hard for him when somebody stole his identity...but it felt even worse when they gave it back.'

Credit Cards Shredded.

"I think you're perfect for this job. And not just because I'm afraid that if you don't get it you'll hack my phone and steal my identity."

'Someone stole my identity, but left my big hips.'

"Whoa! This is my stolen identity!"

"And what a big hit you've taken to your credit score, Grandma."

'I can't believe that someone stole my identity!'

'I'm flattered... someone stole my identity.'

Forgotten your password?

"Well, I suppose it could be identity theft. But that doesn't alter the fact that according to our records, you're already here."