Id Sleuth Pillows

'Good news! Some guy stole my identity online. Now he's saddled with my bad credit rating.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'Gimme all your cache!'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

Secret Service Dogs

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

I'd rather be phishing.

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'Dog got your clog?'

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

"I've already go t a diagnosis from homedoc.com..."

'Excellent sir! Your signature is now completely illegible.'

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

Able to Google Stuff Man

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

What security flaw?

"But sir, you may think you want underwear, but your internet consumer profile says you want a jet ski."

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"I'm all for security, but you having an 80-factor authentication may be a little over the top."

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

"Don't mind me. I'm just nosy."