Hypochondriac Humor Gifts

'I'm afraid your complaining is chronic.' - 'I want a second opinion!!'

'Like I've told you before, Mrs. Spencer, it's all in your head.'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well'

Health MOT's will attract 'worried well': I've looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I've got ALL these life threatening illnesses.

Edna's Doctor Fantasy

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I found out that I'm dead and it's your fault.'

"..He starts imagining that there's all-sorts wrong with him."

'It's a furball.'

'I was hoping it didn't involve those thin white gloves.'

'The good news is it's not bird flu.'

"We don't know what it is, but according to the x-ray, it's sticking to your ribs."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'None of my friends know what's wrong with me. So I thought I'd better come and see the doctor.'

"Test results are back - you have...everything."

'The good news is that there are a lot of things you don't have.'

Over-the-counter prescription? I can hardly get through the pharmacy door, let alone get over the counter!

"You're looking peaky, Doctor Henderson."

"Fainting can be caused by lots of things. Blood sugar levels...dehydration...a drop in blood pressure...getting extremely upset over something..."

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

"Sounds pretty serious. Is it contagious Doc? Doc?"

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

Providing Healthcare For All

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

'I told you not to look up your ailments on the internet' - computer screen reads 'You have 3 days to live',

"Your's may be a case of hypochondria so I'm going to refer you to an imaginary colleague."

"I think I'm coming down with something."

"Your test results are perfect and there is nothing wrong with you. We will operate on you for it tomorrow."

Hypochondria Hospital

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'