Humorous Thinkers T-Shirts

'Why should I pay you for washing the windows when the good Lord provides?'

"I don't think of it as copying from Danny's paper ... I think of it as utilizing the Freedom of Information Act."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Intelligent people laugh too!

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Scarcity

Archimedes statue with a lever

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

Zenemies.

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"I got all 'Cs', but I call that an 'A' report card...'A' for 'Average.'"

Schrödinger and his cat

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

"Dad, my web toon characters can't be normal! They have to be stereotyped crazies who are totally abnormal!"

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

A planet like ours - pub quiz dolphin

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

"The studio's asked me to see if I can dumb down some Danielle Steel."

Axel, I notice you read a lot of highbrow books

This will really mess with their minds someday.

"The problem is you say Nietzsche and expect everything to be just peachy."

'Let me remind you that any advice you receive is protected by copyright and I retain all rights therein.'

Auguste Comte

'Making staff get a sick note after one day is essential if we're to make the whole system work more efficiently!'

'Heidegger-Hi!'

"What if it's smarter than us?"