Humorous Techie Prints

Reminder from my Telebartender. Gotta go!

"Talk nerdy to me."

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

Screen Time vs Book Time

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Fenton G. Gonklemeyer, Computer Scientist - Booted Up 1928 and Crashed 2009.

'What do you mean, I just flunked the Turing test?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

GO AHEAD ... MAKE MY DAY!

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Backlash industries: makers of the macro-chip, bigger, slower..and it even makes mistakes

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

Chef copy robot

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

"Siri meets Alexa" "What can I help you with?" "I'm sorry, I can't answer that."

"Oh, sorry, I wasn't flirting with you – I was checking my phone."

'Honey, tell me honestly...does this operating system make me look big-endian?'

"Have a seat with the other candidates for the tech position but be wary of the spit balls."

'Now where's my Tibbles got to?'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

HUAWEI 5G

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Oog is backing up all our files.

'It's a snow mobile.'

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"Lost drone! Reward! Goes by the name of 'Phantom 3'."