Humorous Reader T-Shirts

'I only collect the black-cover books.'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Sock Puppet in Literature

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

Apricots

'We loved this book. Twenty nine experts tell you how to think independently.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

The Farmer Sutra.

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

Book

Declutter Your Life

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"I suppose I could fake it."

"The parrot you sold me will only through his lawyer!"