Humorous Invader Pillows

'Before we delete their planet, let's play their quaint little ball game once more.'

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Man fishing with large bait

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

Hello, you've reached the private line of the Secretary of Defense. At last! We tried calling you all day yesterday to alert you to an imminent threat. How did you get this number? It was coming straight at your nation-state at speeds approaching Kebin 2. What are you talking about? What's "Klebin 2"? Apologies. In earthlingese that would be "mach 23," or 24.140.16 kilometers per hour. Good lord! I'd better wake ... Not to worry. Our sensors locked on to it as soon as it launched from your North

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

Destiny is all...

Oh, we don't invade planets anymore --- Now we just hack into databases.

"Well, right now I'm feeling a little uncomfortable."

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

Who left their dishes in the sink? Life at the Petri Household.

'Planet earth is doomed! They all look like your mother!'

The fact he was a neutered housecat never stood in the way of Mr. Whiskers' dream.

Alien Arcade

"Did the Earth Move For You ?"

"Trying to raise a family, establish a career AND invade a planet? It's no wonder you feel stressed-out."

'Face it, Herbert. You're not a lap dog!'

'We find it helps to lighten the mood.'

'It also makes a great hat rack.'

'Election years are the best time to land -- they never notice us in all the turmoil.'

"Why do we do this again?"

'Uh-oh.'

The Crime, to the Best of Tiger's Recollection

'The best place to land is Southern California -- they're used to it.'

'I'm NOT sweating -- those are OCEANS!'

'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

"Come on, Tom ... get an afterlife, will you?"

"You may now take the bride deer hunting!"

First encounters of the awkward kind.

"Sure, the cow jumped over the moon, and he also burned up on re-entry."

'Take me to your men's room!'

Ocean Views