Humorous Alibist Mugs

It's a very popular pub. If you ring home you can say you're at the office.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'...And you're always complaining about the government's international trade agreements'

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

'Goodbye, dear. This is the kind of day that makes you feel glad to be alive.'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"First destination: the recycling center to get rid of these cans."

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

'Is not the evidence of the accussed, members of the jury, a earrage of evasion and lies Do bears, or do bears not shit, in the woods'

"It's obvious Jesus accepts everyone. His disciples were fishermen, and we know what kind of lies we tell."

"You look good for your age."

"All the good ones are neutered."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

Swiss Referendum

"Wisdom is growing your hair long so the hairs growing in your ears don't show

Jesus Fish

Adam and Eve

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"Okay, but I'd like a charity receipt for my taxes."

"It's a couch, not a settee, you posh git!"

"It's a lovingly handcrafted beer, citra and summit hopped, with notes of lime, passion fruit and ...."

"Before you do that, let me check the extinction date."

"Michael Sherlock once said: 'Religion isn't about peace, love, or the betterment of our species, it's about power and control. Religion uses fear to control and milk its flocks. Fear of God. Fear of the Devil. Fear of death. Fear of being seen as deviant for expressing non-belief. Fear of social sanctions and in some countries, fear of legal sanctions. Fear is a powerful tool to manipulate the masses and religion has mastered its employment.' ..."

'They always off the mom.'

'I tend to look on the negative side of things. Do you guys do rose coloured glasses'

'My body was a temple, now it's the Acropolis.'

"What a screwup. I was only supposed to get a hip replacement."