Humorist With A Paw-sitive Twist T-Shirts

"Let's just hope the cat doesn't have anymore kittens."

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

'What makes you say I spoil the cat?'

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

Woman Walking a Trojan Horse

Strikeout Dog

Hang Time Fido

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

"Who's showing remorse now that it's time for sentencing? Huh? Who's remorseful now? Who was soooo bad?"

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

A sheep shearing herself on stage - A sheep strip show

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'

Dogs at the vets - "What exactly does 'being seen to' mean?"

Genetically Modified Apples

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

'Like I was saying, Angus, I'm the master, you're the dog.'

"How dare you say I am dogmatic!"

'They fight like you know what.'

Witch Rowing Team

"First, let me say how much I appreciate your 6-foot social distancing."

"Excuse me, but does it look like I have an extension on this scooper?"

'Just the one, thanks.'

“Let’s run with the masala chai this morning, but go easy with the ground ginger.”

"We pay top dollar here at hell hole high."

'Now listen: The best time to lick the kids' faces is right after lunch...'