Humorist With A Calculator T-Shirts

"Let's eat lunch in the park and play 'Guess that Stranger's Tax Bracket.'"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

A=Pi r 2, 'All this stuff about 'pie are square' makes me HUNGRY!'

AA Meeting Here Today

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

Computation Lite, 13 Computations Than Our Regular Formulas.

'The batteries in my calculator just died. Good thing I kept the instructions on how to count on my fingers.'

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

'If your cell phone has five hundred minutes, and you use one of them during this class, how long will you be in detention?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

'According to my calculations, George, you don't exist. You... don't... exist. George. I'm going to have to ask you to leave.'

Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

'I don't know if you're a mathematician but my wife's not happy with her Poisson distribution.'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Professor Crenshaw finally traded in his slide rule for a calculator.'

With the aid of an abacus, Elizabeth Barrett Browning counts the ways.

The geometry of everyday life

"Some consider me the Pollock of calculus."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

Hexagon.

'Everyone says 'business is business' - But has anyone ever checked the math on that?'

Shake well before using.

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Figure of Eight

A Wrecked-angle.

"Is x the wrong angle?"

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

"You know what we call a number that won't sit still?"

Maths Department with sum on door sign.

'Assuming, of course, that a woodchuck could chuck wood.'