Humorist Of Justice Pillows

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

"Oh dear, it's just as we suspected.. they do come from another planet."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

Judge

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

"I forget the difference - is this a crocodile or a litigator?"

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

'And so 'Your Honor'... if that really is your name...'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

News and Magazines. Legal News. A defendant was freed by a loophole in a law. The statute of liberty.

A Judicial Error. (Judge has hit his thumb with his gavel.)

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'