Humorist Of Justice Pillows

'When I offered the bribe, Your Honor, I was just being polite.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

This government special reserve fund is like a cookie jar for crooked cronies!

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

Bill Barr kicks Lady Justice

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Judge

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

"Certainly you're entitled to justice, if you can show that you deserve it."

Supreme court chairs with IV bags

"Twenty years? What ever happened to revolving-door justice?"

'And so 'Your Honor'... if that really is your name...'

"Before we begin today, may I say that both my client and I were astonished that Your Honor was not nominated for the Supreme Court?"

"And what's more, you have a complete disrespect for the law."

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

Dreary counsel sending the judge and jury to sleep

"We all make mistakes, as Your Honor knows, having been twice reprimanded by the New York State Commission on Juridical Conduct."

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to have your butt kicked.'

'The defendant and the witnesses were bad enough, but then the JURY got hostile.'

Lawyers chasing a sacrificial lamb.

'I can't remember. Are you my lawyer, or am I yours?'

"Your honor, we'll stipulate to the fact that he looks guilty."

"'Somewhere in between' is not an acceptable plea."

'Guilty? Do you realize what that will do to my 'Who's Who' listing?'

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"

'Costwise, are we thinking Kavanagh QL or Rumpole?'

'Hello, Sir. Are you answering this call on a hands-free mobile?' 'Em...'