Humorist In Lab Coat T-Shirts

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

'If we were in the Renaissance, we'd be painting nativity scenes right now.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"I thought you wanted me to change."

'I wish they'd hurry up and fix the wind tunnel.'

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

Plasma Ball

'Remove the fur and claws and these genetically engineered apples taste just fine.'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'You knew I was a mad scientist when you married me!'

Plasma Ball

'A little squirt like Graubart would theorize that the Universe is contracting!'

"They're harmless when they're alone, but get a bunch of them together with a research grant and watch out."

Frankenfish

Bacterial Cultural Center

'Dude, that big creepy eye is back.'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Your test results are in - and here's a first, the Lab Techs have asked to meet you.'

DNA Xmas.

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

'Doctor, one placebo or two with your tea?'

Ann was shocked and awed when the General kissed her after her presentation and she wondered if he'd heard a word she'd said.

'It took some doing, but I finally traced my roots back to the first amoeba.'

Bacterial Culture

Dr. Prebish didn't always fit in with the other scientists.

Successful Baseball Teams Rely on a Good Pharm System.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."

Laboratory- risk assessor