Humorist In Education T-Shirts

Geography class - UR Here.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Finally I understand why it's called 'Higher Education!'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"You're not going anywhere, young man, until you probe and release your catch!"

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'We don't know what this is called'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

K-9 Garten

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'

"OK, who can tell me why it's important to know stuff."

'Fortunately, I'm not driven by a deep need for validation.'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

Chère Maman

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

Quiz 2 + 2 = 2 + 2 This is a mathematics professor and my attorney. They'll explain why my answer is technically and legally correct.

'Can I go home now, before I get overeducated?'

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'