Humorist About Love Mugs

"It's not what you think."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"Yo, Ned Beatty, paddle harder if you ever want to kiss me again."

"You look so beautiful, glistening in the moonlight."

"It's over, Martin. I've met someone with bigger cheeks."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Thanks for calling it skinnydipping."

"How barbaric! Females should be wooed by colourful displays, not fighting!"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tunnel of Like.

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'I love you, Howard, but let's not jump to conclusions.'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

It's not what's outside that interests me. It's what's inside!

Dating in 2020

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

Homophone Encounter

"Or...we could suggest a three-way."

'For the last time, Butchie, I love you but I'm not in love with you.'

'Doris,do you realize you are destroying a perfectly happy marriage?'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"I never turn into a prince on a first date."

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'