Humor Mill Pillows

'I think my marriage is in trouble -- my wife gave me a traveler's check for my birthday.'

'Pardon me, Doctor; but exactly where did you study anaesthesiology?'

"That was a rumor day."

"Our stock is down. Start some rumors on Wall Street that it's going up."

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

'Trading was active in rumors, today...'

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

"We know how to treat old or stubborn workers. After all, this is a dog food factory."

"Of course I'm aware of all the office gossip. I started it."

'Ring binders Direct' 'Ace Laxatives'

'Well, it is just my opinion, but it's backed by the best rumor and speculation the internet can provide.'

'...Because its easy to draw.'

"I don't want it to look like I don't appreciate your qualifications and experience, but you're talking a lot of crap."

"You want to know what kind of criticism of Israeli politics I consider anti-semitic?"

"I'm trying to see if there's any truth to the rumor I started."

'Ed, can you remember what that rumor was you had started at that time?'

At the Laff-a-Mint

"My exercise routine appears to be working as long as I hang around fat people."

"Who'd like to go first?"

"My ears are burning - Somebody must be blogging about me."

'To this century's most obnoxious party guest...'

'Is the information fresh?'

"You always get the good gossip out here around the vodka cooler."

'Yes Sir that is the lowest calorie dish on the menu, the chef has even eaten the fish for you. He says it was wonderful.'

"Oh, yes, we know them. We hate them."

"There's a woman on tinder called Melania Trump."

Inspectors #2 and #3 inspect clothing.

'We deal mostly in rolling stock...'

Skeleton on an out of order escalator.

'Rumour has it that his friend is hung like a horse.'

"They've hired this new guy Trevor, a complete buffoon apparently!"