Humor Investigator Pillows

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

Totalitarian Humour

"This is not good at all!"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Well, obviously the victim had a French enemy."

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

Fingerprint Show

"We don't like the same marriage counselor gags anymore."

Two men converse secretively

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"Perkins, the company isn't giving you a demotion. We like to call it a negative-trajectory promotion."

The Banana Crime

"Do you recognise the giraffe who hit you?"

'He died of too much money.'

"So, you've got butterflies in your stomach, a bug in your ear and a bee in your bonnet. Any other complaints?"

'Just move along...Nothing core to see here.'

"If Santa knows when you're sleeping and knows when you're awake...is he with the CIA?"

"Looks like another case of someone over forty trying to understand Snapchat."

Uncle Sam inside a Ukrainian brain.

"Ha! I found you . . . and with my wife!"

'Formerly, 'Regular' and 'Extra-Strength'.'

The Friendly Loan Company

"Devin agrees with the president. Americans are dreamers too."

'I gave the Captain a thousand bucks to strand us on an uninhabited island with nothing but a musket.'

"Oh, look - a Halloweiner dog!"

'I think we caught this just in time.'

'What a beautiful landscape!'

'Relief fund relief fund.'