Humor At Work Fan Pillows

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Can do...No can do

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Organization is not rocket science!

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

The Rubber Ball Company

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

'I don't know what he does, but I'm afraid to ask.'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

"It's okay to be ambitious but do you dare to pee on my tree, Jackson!"

'If you have nothing to do don't come round here and do it.'