Humor Appreciators Pillows

"Always an oil spill. Never a vodka spill."

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

'When your grandparents said they were going to drop in on us, I didn't think they meant literally.'

"The glass is half full�"

"Come on! It's not rabies! I was just cleaning my teeth when you rang?

'No doubt about it-his hearing's getting worse.'

'You better believe I'm getting a second opinion...CATaracts, my eye!'

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"There's always someone who goes over the top with their rooftop decorations."

"125 is the new 100."

Dowsing for Coffee

An optimist, a pessimist & an optometrist.

Stinging Bee

"So that's it then? Just the one trick?"

Hungry labradors online.

Life on Earth - Superfat.

The tree of knowledge discovers that paper is made from wood.

"Sunscreen? You're afraid of sunburn? Real protesters set themselves ablaze for what they believe in!"

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

'...if you think about it, we must have done something pretty bad in a past life.'

'...and I'm telling you that Budgie sneezed!!'

'Yeah Rex, my Masters are packing their suitcases too: It looks like we'll see each other at the boarding kennel soon...'

"Never seen a cow before?"

"Sheriff, have you heard that Billy the Kid and his gang are coming to town?"

Good immigration control

'I'm okay with the 'Man's Best Friend' thing, but I think my owner is pushing it with this Facebook friend request.'

'You discovered fire all by yourself? What will you think of next?' (Caveman thinking of a wheel)

Window cleaner has number tattooed on his back.

'No ipods or ear phones are permitted here, since hell is listening to other people's music.'

'I love the frame on this one!'

Humpty dumpty, the wall and the banana peel.

Last leaf of autumn.

Conversational Drift